Yesterday started out well! Like every other day, it was a little rocky at first but picked up the pace pretty fast! I had my children fed and they were well on the way to doing their school work! We got started and then I started a topic on my FB that generated a lot of attention so..... I was bantering back and forth with my cousin while keeping my children on task with school! Wow, I am impressed with myself at this point!..... I then saw an entry by one of my FB friends that works with stem cell research. For those of you who do not know... I have been very sick with MS. I have know that they were researching it here in the US but on a small scale and only in strict studies that involved possibly getting the placebo and possible getting chemo!
I asked him if they were giving the straight treatment here yet and he said probably not for 10 years or so!......... At that point my heart dropped! See I have been using treatment but have had to stop due to side effects, not that the drugs were a sure thing anyway........... I am bed bound and using a wheelchair when I can! I feel like I have the flu, all..... day every day! My Body hurts so bad, that I can barely move it! I can't feel my feet/toes..... I sometimes can't feel my legs! My arms,hand and fingers go numb as well. The sharp pain that shoots through my body is like nothing I can explain.... and sometimes it feels like a vibration through my body! Like I am plugged in to an outlet!........ Head aches, kidney infections/stones, ect.... are nothing compared to the shear fatigue!...... So bad that I can sometimes barely hold my head up on my own! Other times I do well sitting up in bed! It is like Russian Roulette, you just never know!
Back to the stem cell treatment! I had just been waiting and waiting for it to be available to me, I feel like there is no other answer!..... I feel desperate, like God is saying.....GO GET THIS TREATMENT!..... Yet another 10 years, living like I am..... no I can't take it!.. Those of you who home school, will know of HSLDA, and one of their founders Christopher Klicka! He home-schooled and was father to 7 children and was a lawyer for HSLDA! I am sad to say he passed away a couple days ago from MS. It brought me straight down............ but I am not going to DIE from this disease!...................... I am not going to deteriorate anymore! I have a treatment and now I just have to obtain the treatment!..............
My friend David offered to help me find the best place to go, out of the country! He let me know it would cost up to $24 grand for the treatment! I then bout had a heart attack!......... How on earth can I raise that much money... for my treatment, in another country, when I can't even pay the bills here in my home! My illness has caused such hardship on the family! Could I really ask my children and husband to support this effort when we have financial needs at home!uhhhhhhhhhh...............
I made mention on my fb.... How can I raise 24-30 grand to get treatment? Boy, the outpour of support and suggestions flooded in! Fund raisers, FB friend donations! I guess there are ways to raise it! I prayed and prayed and then The Good Lord allowed me to have another kidney stone,lol! I thought maybe that was my answer... I am a pain in the side!......... But by morning my prayers and those of all my FB family had settle deep into my heart! I knew what god was saying.
I now understand that I should stop feeling so guilty!!!! I did not do this, nor could I have prevented it! It is here for our learning and we have! I felt God acknowledge that it was time to move on!.... I felt great comfort in starting the raising of the funds and I trusted the peace God gave me about going out of the country for treatment!..... My family gave me peace and support about raising the funds as well. Not one of them complained that we had needs here first! All of them acknowledged that perhaps I could be as healthy as before!
I learned a lot in a 24 hour period! I learned that the US doesn't always have it right! I learned that I am truly not to blame and that I truly could not have prevented this! I also learned that, my family has learned a lot from all this. We have been hurt, cried, angry, ect....... But the love that goes into this all, is pure amazing down to my fb friends...... I have also learned that the internet is a great source of comfort at times! Most of all, I learned to just STOP................... in the quiet, and hear my God speak straight to my heart! He did, and I heard it,loud and clear! Now I am even more determined to get well, because God says so!........
have you heard about Samaritan ministries? The Christian "health insurance"? Its a set fee/month (I wanna say its like $250/family) but you pay it straight to another member with a "need" and if you have a "need" you get checks in the mail from other members until your medical bills are payed. I wonder if they would pay for something like this out of the country...
ReplyDeleteI have heard of it before! It is just that we could not pay into it! We currently, thanks to my health, have no income..... Not sure if they would pay for a treatment not approved in the US??? Thanks for the info....
ReplyDeleteOh Audra, I want so much for you to get treatment. I've written a blog and mentioned your blog in it. You are amazing. I hope you can raise the money for your treatment.
ReplyDeleteI'm shocked to find out Christopher Klicka has died from MS. I did not even know he had MS much less died from it.
You can raise this money! I'm praying for you!
Also, haven't forgotten about the stuff I'm sending you. My husband however, keeps forgetting the box, (big grin).